• home
  • About me
    • New Year’s Resolutions
    • Bucket List
    • Share Your World
    • Friday Meditation
  • Oman
    • Al-Batinah Region
    • Al-Dhahirah Region
    • Al-Dakhiliyah Region
      • Nizwa
    • Al-Wusta Region
    • Dhofar Region
    • Musandam
    • Muscat
    • Sharqiya Region
  • University of Nizwa
  • Africa
    • african meanderings {& musings}
  • Americas
    • nomad, interrupted: catbird in the united states of america
    • notes from north america
    • United States of America
      • Virginia
  • Asia
    • catbird in china
    • catbird in korea
    • catbird in kyoto
    • catbird in south asia
    • catbird in turkey
    • ride paddies and papayas
  • Europe
    • greek wanderings
    • in search of a thousand cafés
  • Middle East
    • a jaunt to jordan
    • catbird in cairo
    • United Arab Emirates
      • Abu Dhabi
  • photography
    • Sunday Post
    • Travel Theme Photo Challenge
    • Weekly Photo Challenge
    • whatever a moon has always meant
  • Fiction
    • land of make-believe

a nomad in the land of nizwa

~ an American English teacher in Oman

a nomad in the land of nizwa

Category Archives: Optimism

friday meditation: optimism vs. pessimism

22 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by nomad, interrupted in "Happiness", Death, Friday Meditation, Life, Optimism, Pessimism, Spirituality, United States of America

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

Life, Optimism, Pessimism, Spirituality, WPLongform

Friday, March 22: I have been continuing my meditation practice, while simultaneously reading Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill, by Matthieu Ricard. This week, I was intrigued by the chapter: “Optimism, Pessimism, and Naiveté.”  As I read and meditated on this, I couldn’t help looking at myself and trying to determine if I’m a pessimist or an optimist.

a plant has to have a lot of optimism to take root in a harsh environment like this

a plant has to have a lot of optimism to take root in a harsh environment like this

I’ve always called myself a pessimist because, when presented with an obstacle or challenge, I usually think about the worst things that could happen.  That way, I tell myself and others, I’m prepared for the worst.  If the worst doesn’t happen, then I’m pleasantly surprised.

For example, now I’m starting to prepare myself for leaving Oman in 3 months.  On April 1, I need to put my car up for sale.  I keep thinking, Oh no, what if I can’t sell it for what I need to sell it for?  What if I can’t get enough to pay off my loan?  What if I have an accident before I can sell it?  What if something major goes wrong with it in the next couple of weeks?

An optimistic outlook enables you to take one step at a time to overcome obstacles

An optimistic outlook enables you to take one step at a time to overcome obstacles

As you can see, I’ve thought of a number of obstacles I could encounter.  But instead of letting myself become engulfed by worries, I’ve made a plan and written it on my calendar.  I must go to the leasing company and find out what the loan balance is and find out if it’s possible for a buyer to take over the payments.  I must go to the Toyota dealer and get an estimate of the value.  And then I must advertise it.  Finally, I thought of the worst things that could happen.  If I wreck the car, it’s insured.  If I have to spend money to fix something major, then I just have to do it.  And if worst comes to worst, and I cannot sell it, I can ship it back to the USA.

When I read this chapter in Happiness, I started wondering if I really am the pessimist I have always believed myself to be.

The choice: move forward one step at a time, or stay stuck where you are.

The choice: move forward one step at a time, or stay stuck where you are.

According to Ricard, “An optimist is somebody who considers his problems to be temporary, controllable, and linked to a specific situation.  He will say, ‘There’s no reason to make a fuss about it; these things don’t last. I’ll figure it out; in any case, I usually do.’  The pessimist, on the other hand, thinks that his problems will last (“It’s not the sort of thing that just goes away”), that they jeopardize everything he does and are out of his control (“What do you expect me to do about it?”).  He also imagines that he has some basic inner flaw, and tells people: ‘Whatever I do, it always turns out the same way’ and concludes, ‘I’m just not cut out to be happy.'”

When I read this, I thought: Maybe I’m not quite the pessimist I think I am.

Though I call myself a pessimist, and have some of the tendencies toward worry, ultimately, I think I'm an optimist

Though I call myself a pessimist, and have some of the tendencies toward worry, ultimately, I think I’m an optimist

I continued to read on with curiosity.  Ricard goes on to say: “For an optimist, it makes no sense to lose hope.  We can always do better (instead of being devastated, resigned or disgusted), limit the damage (instead of letting it all go to pot), find an alternative solution (instead of wallowing pitifully in failure), rebuild what has been destroyed (instead of saying “It’s all over!”), take the current situation as a starting point (instead of wasting our time crying over the past and lamenting the present), start from scratch (instead of ending there), understand that sustained efforts will have to be made in the best apparent direction (instead of being paralyzed by indecision and fatalism), and use every present moment to advance, appreciate, act, and enjoy inner well-being (instead of wasting our time brooding over the past and fearing the future).”

The optimist uses several tools to live his life: HOPE, RESOLVE, ADAPTABILITY, SERENITY, & MEANING.

Ricard goes on to note that psychologists define HOPE as “the conviction that one can find the means to attain one’s goals and develop the motivation necessary to do so.”

another plant that must be optimistic to live its life here

another plant that must be optimistic to live its life here

The optimist has RESOLVE; she doesn’t give up quickly. “Strengthened by the hope of success, she perseveres and succeeds more often than the pessimist, especially in adverse conditions.”

Optimists are ADAPTABLE: When they encounter what seem to be insurmountable obstacles, they react in a constructive and creative way, while pessimists tend to “brood over their misfortunes, nurture illusions, dream up ‘magic’ solutions, and accuse the whole world of being against them.”

An optimist, even in meeting with temporary failure, is “free of regret and guilt feelings” and able to maintain SERENITY while trying to solve the problem.

Finally, the optimist sees the potential for transformation in every human being, giving MEANING to human life.

So, Ricard says, “The ultimate pessimism is in thinking that life in general is not worth living.  The ultimate optimism lies in understanding that every passing moment is a treasure, in joy as in adversity.”

Hope springs eternal

Hope springs eternal

I don’t see myself as a hopeless person; conversely I see myself as HOPEFUL and ADAPTABLE.  My problem is in maintaining SERENITY in the face of obstacles.  Often I get annoyed, irritable, worried, depressed and angry when I’m faced with obstacles.  The only positive is that these states of mind come and go like fireflies on a summer night.  But ultimately, I have enough confidence in myself to believe that I can solve any problem that is thrown in my path.  I never feel like life isn’t worth living; neither am I ever willing to play the victim.

I know a number of people in Oman who are absolutely miserable; they’re true pessimists.  Never do they try to make the best of their situation.  They see their situation as hopeless, that they are stuck here under the university’s dictatorship, that they have no other options, that they don’t have a country they can return to.  They don’t take walks in nature or try to get out and explore the beautiful country.  As far as I can tell, these are choices they make.  Every day, I believe people can take small steps to change their lives.  An optimist can see this easily; a pessimist cannot.

So, which am I?

Early this morning, my dear friend from high school, Rosie, lost her beautiful niece, Megan, to stomach cancer.  I didn’t know Megan very well, though I’d met her on several occasions.  I do know my friend and her sister Janet, Megan’s mother.  Their family is close-knit and loving, and they are fighters. I’ve known this family almost my entire life and I know what they’re made of.  Megan herself, in the face of being diagnosed with Stage IV stomach cancer, went to battle for her life.  She wrote a blog about her struggle with cancer:  This is Our Fight: We’re fighting cancer, fighting for the life we dreamed of.

From right to left: Janet (Megan's mother), Megan, and Adam (Megan's husband)

From right to left: Janet (Megan’s mother), Megan, and Adam (Megan’s husband). Taken when Megan was perfectly healthy, in January 2010.

My own insignificant struggles were put into perspective by Megan’s death.  While I have been struggling daily with a horrible job and thinking about the upheaval of moving back to America in 3 months, this beautiful and talented young woman was facing the ultimate struggle, for her life.  This morning, she lost that battle, but during her struggle she was able to keep an optimistic outlook. To me, that’s amazing.

I wonder how optimistic I would be in the face of the ultimate struggle: with death.  I really don’t know.  But I certainly admire a person like Megan who met death with courage and the certain conviction that SHE, if she had her say, would choose life.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,059 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 376,162 hits

Heading to Spain and Portugal!!

To Barcelona & beyond! :-)June 28, 2013
To Barcelona & beyond! :-)

Return home to the USA

Homecoming USA!July 26, 2013
I'm back in the USA!!

where are my readers from?

Locations of visitors to this page

Recent Posts

  • 2014 in review: wordpress sums it all up!
  • Beautiful Oman Filmed in Sizzling Indian Song “Jiya” for the Movie “Gunday”
  • 2013 in review
  • five hours at heathrow’s terminal 5
  • friday meditation: i get up in the morning. i do my best. nothing else matters.
  • our last dinner at the spicy village
  • travel theme: ripples
  • seeking the moonrise on a rocky hill in izki
  • in search of the perfect suitcase combo & dinner at shang thai
  • a sale of “stuff” & a farewell gathering
  • my itinerary for spain: here’s what i’ve got so far…
  • seeking “the essence of Muscat” on a steamy 42 degree day
  • weekly photo challenge: the sign says
  • the ruins and gardens of adam
  • cbbh photo challenge: knobs & knockers
  • caracalla dance theatre: “kan ya ma kan” at the royal opera house muscat
  • travel theme: pathways
  • weekly photo challenge: in the background
  • a stroll through al qasha on jebel akhdar & a farewell to old friends
  • friday meditation: my top ten happy memories in the sultanate
  • travel theme: the four elements
  • weekly photo challenge: escape
  • friday meditation: on choosing one memory to relive for all eternity
  • a fond farewell to the gardens of wekan
  • on preparing for spain & portugal: first steps
  • sunday post: mother’s day
  • travel theme: beaches
  • weekly photo challenge: pattern
  • getting my green fix in the gardens of misfat al abriyyen
  • weekly photo challenge: from above
  • friday meditation: flow
  • a sepia kind of day in nizwa: rain, rain, rain & a shifting weekend
  • travel theme: light
  • friday meditation: “addicted to a certain kind of sadness” ~ a playlist of bittersweet memories
  • happy birthday to sarah!
  • pay day at the lulu hypermarket in nizwa
  • Ma’a salama to my GMC Terrain {trials & tribulations of selling a car in Oman}
  • weekly photo challenge: up
  • friday meditation: a question of fate
  • CBBH photo challenge: multi-colored
  • weekly photo challenge: change
  • breakfast at the chedi
  • a trip to wadi bani kharous
  • weekly photo challenge: color
  • travel theme: pale
  • friday meditation: star-spangling our solitude
  • jebel akhdar: an afternoon of brits & roses, wine & bubbly
  • 2008 GMC Terrain for sale!
  • sunday post: entrance
  • weekly photo challenge: a day in my life

Archives

  • December 2014 (1)
  • January 2014 (1)
  • December 2013 (1)
  • June 2013 (11)
  • May 2013 (18)
  • April 2013 (17)
  • March 2013 (19)
  • February 2013 (17)
  • January 2013 (20)
  • December 2012 (33)
  • November 2012 (27)
  • October 2012 (12)
  • September 2012 (44)
  • August 2012 (7)
  • July 2012 (37)
  • June 2012 (35)
  • May 2012 (38)
  • April 2012 (40)
  • March 2012 (29)
  • February 2012 (17)
  • January 2012 (21)
  • December 2011 (15)
  • November 2011 (14)
  • October 2011 (8)
  • September 2011 (4)
  • August 2011 (1)

Catbird in Oman Menu

  • home
  • About me
    • New Year’s Resolutions
    • Bucket List
    • Share Your World
    • Friday Meditation
  • Oman
    • Al-Batinah Region
    • Al-Dhahirah Region
    • Al-Dakhiliyah Region
      • Nizwa
    • Al-Wusta Region
    • Dhofar Region
    • Musandam
    • Muscat
    • Sharqiya Region
  • University of Nizwa
  • Africa
    • african meanderings {& musings}
  • Americas
    • nomad, interrupted: catbird in the united states of america
    • notes from north america
    • United States of America
      • Virginia
  • Asia
    • catbird in china
    • catbird in korea
    • catbird in kyoto
    • catbird in south asia
    • catbird in turkey
    • ride paddies and papayas
  • Europe
    • greek wanderings
    • in search of a thousand cafés
  • Middle East
    • a jaunt to jordan
    • catbird in cairo
    • United Arab Emirates
      • Abu Dhabi
  • photography
    • Sunday Post
    • Travel Theme Photo Challenge
    • Weekly Photo Challenge
    • whatever a moon has always meant
  • Fiction
    • land of make-believe

what happens when…

January 2021
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Dec    

Blogs I Follow

Blog of the Year 2012

Kreativ Blogger Award

Genuine Blogger Award

Ligo Circle of Appreciation

Shine On Award

Oman Blogs

  • Adventures of an American ESL Instructor Teaching at an Omani University
  • Andy in Oman
  • Angry in Oman
  • Bethany Duffield
  • Desperate Housewife in Oman
  • Dhofari Gucci
  • English Girl in Oman
  • Hallucinations of a Kitten
  • How to live like an Omani Princess
  • Hunting the Lost Insurgency: Oman
  • Matthew Heines
  • Misadventures in HR
  • Mumoftheanimals's Blog
  • Muscat Confidential
  • Muscat Jet Driver
  • Muscat Mutterings
  • Oh Man…Oman is really nice!
  • Omani Book Mania
  • Omani Cuisine
  • Rural Route Runner
  • Samir's Home
  • Secret Salalah
  • Sleepless in Salalah
  • Sultanate Social
  • Susan Al Shahri
  • The Linoleum Surfer

Oman Information

  • Albahja Cinema
  • Background Note Oman: U.S. State Department
  • Bait Muzna Gallery
  • BBC News: Oman Country Profile
  • CIA World Factbook ~ Oman
  • City Cinema Shatti
  • Destination Oman
  • Embassy of the United States – Muscat, Oman
  • Lonely Planet Oman
  • Ministry of Information: Sultanate of Oman
  • Oman Daily Observer
  • Royal Opera House Muscat
  • Sultanate of Oman Tourism
  • Sultanate of Oman: Ministry of Foreign Affairs

Travel Blogs

  • Dan & Jillian's International Teaching Adventures
  • Dude Travels to Go
  • The Cool Hunter: amazing places to experience around the globe
  • The Traveling Gypsy
  • Wildcard Travels

X-terraneous Stuff

  • CIA World Factbook ~ South Korea
  • Dawn King
  • Let me bite that.
  • Life in the Bogs
  • reinventing the event horizon

my photostream on flickr

Sunny but only 20 degrees today!uploaduploaduploadTaking a walk through the neighborhood#whpsentbymailNext door to port royal post officeNext store in port royalupload
More Photos

Goodreads

Top Posts & Pages

  • the falaj daris ~ a UNESCO World Heritage Site
  • lizards are taking over my flat!
  • camping on the beach near fins
  • travel theme: beaches

InterNations

Weekly Photo Challenge

PostaWeek2012

share your world

a-z photo challenge

52 Pick Up

Sunday Post

Six Word Saturday

No Comfort Zone Challenge

I pledge to read the Printed Word

things i write about

"Happiness" 52 Pick Up 2012 A-Z Photo Challenge Abu Dhabi Abu Nooh Building Africa Akrotírion Al-Areesh Camp Al-Batinah Region Al-Dakhiliyah Region Al-Dhahirah Region Al Aqr Al Ayn Al Hamra Al Musanaah Americas Asia As Sifah Beach Athens Bahla Balad Sayt Birkat Al Mouz Cambodia Cappadocia Crete Daegu Ethiopia Europe Falaj Daris Hotel Family Foundation Institute Friday Meditation Geoje-si GMC Terrain Greece India Intercontinental Hotel Jakesprinter Japan Jebel Akhdar Jebel Shams Jordan Kyoto Lake Langano Lalibela Life Matthieu Ricard Middle East misfat al abriyyin Musandam Muscat Muttrah Muttrah Souq Nakhal Fort Nepal Nizwa Nizwa souq Oia Oman Oman Dive Center Phnom Penh Photography Challenges Pokhara postaweek2012 postaweek2013 Rethymno Royal Opera House Sahab Hotel Saiq Plateau Salalah Santorini Seoul Share Your World Sharqiya Region Sharqiya Sands Six Word Saturday South Korea Spirituality Suncheon Bay Sunday Post Travel Travel Theme Photo Challenge Turkey United Arab Emirates United States of America University of Nizwa Virginia Wadi Bani Awf Wadi Bani Habib Wadi Bani Khalid Wadi Damm Wadi MIstal Wadi Muaydin Wadi Shab Wadi Tiwi Wednesday Song Title Interpretation Weekly Photo Challenge Wekan Western Hajar Mountains

oh say can you see?

Free counters!

Tag Cloud

#capturethecolour 7 Super Shots 52 Pick Up @travelsupermkt a-z photo challenge Abu Dhabi Al Amerat Architecture Art Balad Sayt Birthdays Blogging books Bucket List CBBH Photo Challenge Christmas Daydream Saturdays DPchallenge Egypt Empty Quarter Ethiopia GMC Terrain Greece Hyundai Sonata Ibri InterNations Japan Jebel Akhdar Jebel Shams karma's photography scavenger hunt Life middle east Misfat Al Abriyyin Muscat Nepal Nizwa Nizwa Souq No Comfort Zone Challenge Oman Omar Khairat Optimism Pessimism Phoneography Challenge Picture the World! postaweek2012 postaweek2013 Roses Royal Opera House Royal Opera House Muscat Saiq Plateau Salalah share your world Shine On Award Six Word Saturday South Korea Spain Spirituality Story Challenge Sunday Post Tibet Travel travel theme Turkey United Arab Emirates United States of America University of Nizwa Wadi Bani Awf Wadi Tiwi Wedding wednesday song title interpretation weekly photo challenge Western Hajar Mountains Wordpress WPLongform wwwp5k

Blogs I Follow

  • Fairfax County Emergency Information
  • ~ wander.essence ~
  • Living in Paradise...
  • SterVens' Tales
  • PIRAN CAFÉ
  • Word Wabbit
  • Cardinal Guzman
  • Pit's Fritztown News
  • Fumbling Through Italy
  • Empty Nesters on a Green Global Trek
  • snowtoseas
  • Cornwall in Colours
  • Slovenian Girl Abroad
  • Let Me Bite That
  • Running Stories by Jerry Lewis
  • Finding NYC
  • The World according to Dina
  • Cornwall Photographic
  • snippetsandsnaps
  • SITTING PRETTY

Administrative Stuff…

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Creative Commons Attribution

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Categories

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Fairfax County Emergency Information

Official Fairfax County Government Emergency Preparedness, Response and Recovery Website

~ wander.essence ~

where travel meets art

Living in Paradise...

SterVens' Tales

~~~In Case You Didn't Know, I Talk 2 Myself~~~

PIRAN CAFÉ

Word Wabbit

Wrestless Word Wrestler

Cardinal Guzman

Encyclopedia Miscellaneous - 'quality' blogging since August 2011

Pit's Fritztown News

A German Expat's Life in Fredericksburg/Texas

Fumbling Through Italy

Empty Nesters on a Green Global Trek

snowtoseas

Cornwall in Colours

inspired by the colours of the land, sea and sky of Cornwall

Slovenian Girl Abroad

A blog about travel adventures written by an Slovenian girl living in Switzerland

Let Me Bite That

Can I have a bite?

Running Stories by Jerry Lewis

Personal blog about running adventures

Finding NYC

exploring New York City one adventure at a time

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

Cornwall Photographic

snippetsandsnaps

Potato Point and beyond

SITTING PRETTY

Fairfax County Emergency Information

Official Fairfax County Government Emergency Preparedness, Response and Recovery Website

~ wander.essence ~

where travel meets art

Living in Paradise...

SterVens' Tales

~~~In Case You Didn't Know, I Talk 2 Myself~~~

PIRAN CAFÉ

Word Wabbit

Wrestless Word Wrestler

Cardinal Guzman

Encyclopedia Miscellaneous - 'quality' blogging since August 2011

Pit's Fritztown News

A German Expat's Life in Fredericksburg/Texas

Fumbling Through Italy

Empty Nesters on a Green Global Trek

snowtoseas

Cornwall in Colours

inspired by the colours of the land, sea and sky of Cornwall

Slovenian Girl Abroad

A blog about travel adventures written by an Slovenian girl living in Switzerland

Let Me Bite That

Can I have a bite?

Running Stories by Jerry Lewis

Personal blog about running adventures

Finding NYC

exploring New York City one adventure at a time

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

Cornwall Photographic

snippetsandsnaps

Potato Point and beyond

SITTING PRETTY

Cancel
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
%d bloggers like this: