sunday post: mother’s day

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Life, Sunday Post

Sunday, May 12:  Today is Mother’s Day in the USA, and Jake has given us a challenge to post something in honor of mothers everywhere (Jakesprinter’s Sunday Post: Mother’s Day).  He writes: Mother’s Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in March or May.

Here are some mothers I’ve encountered in my travels.

a mother and her son in Pokhara, Nepal

A mother bathes her child in Bhaktapur, Nepal

a mother and her children at the Lalibela Saturday market in Ethiopia

Indian mothers at the Lotus Temple in Delhi, India

my Korean friend Julie and her two children

And finally, in honor of my mother, who died over 10 years ago: Happy Mother’s Day!

My father and mother and their four children (one was still to come!)

happy birthday to sarah!

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Life, United States of America, Virginia

Friday, April 26:  Today is my daughter Sarah’s 29th birthday!  I wish I could be there for this special day, but since I can’t, I will have to do a lot of making up for lost time when I return home.

Sarah works as a waitress at Joe’s Inn in Richmond, Virginia while also attending school at Virginia Commonwealth University.  She lives in a row house in Richmond’s Fan District with two close friends and her dog named Bagel.  She’s a wonderful writer and wants to write for a living one day.  She’s got a great sense of humor and a sharp wit.  In high school she loved drama and she played the part of Alice in Wonderland in a school production.  She also has run a half-marathon and a number of 10k runs.  She loves healthy food, wearing dresses, and collecting cute things for her house.  We enjoy going out together to eat at Richmond’s many great restaurants and going shopping at her favorite stores, including Target, anthropologie and Urban Outfitters. We also enjoy toasting each other with glasses of red wine. 🙂

Happy birthday to my little red-headed munchkin.  All my love goes to her on this special day.

Click on any of the pictures below for a full-sized slide show.

Sarah in her Nana’s garden

Sarah, Alex and Adam in Hilton Head, South Caroline

Sarah riding a fire engine??

Sarah at Christmas

Sarah rides a pink shoe

Me with Sarah in Richmond, Viriginia Around 1987

Mike gives Sarah flowers after finishing his triathlon

Alex, Sarah and Adam

Sarah in 2009

Sarah and her bubble lawnmower in Richmond, Virginia

Sarah, Adam and Alex

Sarah’s high school graduation picture

Sarah and her snowman

Sarah and Adam

Sarah plays dress up

Me and Sarah drinking some wine in Richmond

Me with Sarah at Christmas 2009

Sarah gets flowers after her performance of Alice in Wonderland

Sarah in Richmond 2011

Sarah

Sarah as flower girl at Mike’s and my wedding

Sarah as a baby

Sarah at her Nana’s house

Sarah in Richmond

having a picnic

Sarah in 2009

Sarah in Richmond 2011

Sarah changes her name to “Sal” at summer camp

Sarah playing the part of Alice in Wonderland in high school

at her Nana’s house at Christmas

happy birthday, alex!

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Birthdays, United States of America

Sunday, March 10:  Today is my oldest son Alex’s 22nd birthday.  He is a kind and gentle soul who loves bananas, difficult gymnastic moves, history and heavy metal. I wish I was home with him today to celebrate his birthday, but since I’m not I thought I would do a little photo collage to celebrate his big day.

Click on any of the images below to see a full-sized slide show.

Alex and Adam at Stribling Apple Orchard in Virginia

Adam and Alex with long curly hair

Pebbles and BamBam, aka Elizabeth and Alex

Alex

Alex and his best friend Elizabeth

Alex at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland

Alex and I play Ticket to Ride in Daegu, South Korea

Alex tries on hats at Home Plus in Daegu, South Korea

Alex at the Boseong Tea Plantations in South Korea

Alex does a handstand at Swallowtail Falls in Maryland

Alex signs autographs in Chojeon Elementary School, South Korea

Alex in Jeongju, South Korea

Alex in Jeongju, South Korea

Alex at Maisan, South Korea

Alex does a handstand at Al Alam Palace in Muscat

Alex does one of his gymnastic move at Al Alam Palace

Alex at the Silk Road in Muscat

Alex in Daegu, South Korea

Alex and me at Camp Al Areesh

Alex in Ibra

Alex at Camp Al Areesh in Sharqiya

Alex at Wadi Shab

Alex at Kargeen in Muscat

Alex on the left, Adam on the right at Mutrah Souq

Alex and his gymnastic bars in the backyard of our Oakton, VA house

Alex does his gymnastic moves

Happy birthday, to my sweet darling Alex!  All my love ~ Mom ❤

feeling sick in nizwa ~ and a “brothers & sisters” final season marathon!

Saturday, February 2:  On Tuesday, January 29, I started feeling all achy and tired and sick to my stomach.  It almost felt like I imagine Chronic Fatigue Syndrome feels, with stomach troubles thrown in for good measure.  It came upon me by degrees on Tuesday and lingered Wednesday morning.  Wednesday afternoon, I thought I was feeling better and then WHAM!  By Wednesday night, I went progressively downhill and was totally wiped out.  Every cubic inch of my body was aching, I had a throbbing headache and piercing neck pain, and my stomach was in total disarray. Utter chaos. After having read about the diseases one could catch in Nepal, I had a temporary panic attack that I had contracted spinal meningitis!! Or Amoebic dysentery.  However, there was no fever, so I reassured myself that meningitis could not be the problem.  I treated myself by barely eating anything, staying in my pajamas from Wednesday through Friday night, and drinking lots of fluids to avert dehydration.

I rarely EVER get sick.  However, I have to say, in some bizarre way, I relished having an excuse to stay in my pajamas and in a reclining position all weekend.  I have been continually on the go since January 1, when Mike and the boys arrived, until I returned home from Nepal on January 25, where I was constantly cold and uncomfortable.  I think my body just decided to put a stop to all my shenanigans and knock me out for a few days.

Since I barely felt like doing ANYTHING, I just lay on the couch and alternately read a new book of Nepali short stories I bought in Kathmandu AND watched episode after episode of the 5th and final season of Brothers and Sisters, which I had the boys bring me from the U.S.

Sometimes those Walkers got on my nerves!! Big time!!  It frustrated, even infuriated me, the way they put every other person who came into their lives on hold, ALWAYS, as they attended to family business. Or family crises. I couldn’t understand how beautiful French Luc put up with being constantly ignored and belittled by Sarah. Especially as Luc was FABULOUS!!  And why every relationship Nora had always fell by the wayside as she sacrificed her own happiness for her self-centered children.  And why there was nothing sacred, or private, between any of them.

Overall, I loved their messy but loving family, the family that stuck together throughout all tribulations.  My family of origin, the Birdsong clan, used to be like this.  I can see, in the Walker family, how we used to be back in the day, before my brother died in 1988 and my mother died in 2002.  My brothers and sisters were, and still are, the most fun-loving, most intelligent and witty people I have ever known. I enjoyed our family gatherings immensely.  I felt at one time that I was the glue that held us together after my mom died, but then my sister took over holding us together as my family fell apart.  My other sister lives in California and doesn’t like to fly, so it’s been years since I’ve seen her.  And my brother has gone missing from our lives because he’s going through struggles of his own.  We barely ever see or talk to each other any more.

The Walker family in Brothers and Sisters kept growing and changing and morphing into this motley and crazy collection of people.  Yet.  I found, as I watched episode after episode, I didn’t want to tear myself away.  I felt like I was part of their family.  Surely Nora Walker would welcome me into her home; after all, she called her dead husband’s mistress, Holly, a “friend;” she accepted basically any misfit who tumbled into the midst of their family.  I found myself getting teary-eyed as Kevin and Scotty tried to cobble together their own family from a foster-home-adopted Olivia to their surrogate-conceived son Daniel, during the last several episodes. As Kitty finally got pregnant and decided to try to have the baby despite the risk to her own health.  As Luc reconciled with his mother.  And as Sarah and Luc celebrated the wedding of a lifetime.

me, Joan, my mom, Rob, Stephanie, and Dad over 20 years ago!

I found myself missing my extended family.  Of course, I miss my own family, especially my children, but what I missed while watching this marathon was my bigger family.  In all their craziness and uniqueness.  And their messiness.

At the end, at Sarah and Luc’s wedding, Nora Walker quoted from George Eliot:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Maybe we can’t be the Walkers, but I believe it’s never too late to be the Birdsongs we might have been.

the boys arrive safely in oman

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Oman

Tuesday, January 1:  After a 23 hour trip from Washington (2 hour early check-in, 16 hour flight, 3 hour layover in Frankfurt, and 2 hour transition through immigration to my Nizwa flat), my 3 boys arrive safely tonight in Oman.  They’re smiling and ebullient.  We hug and hug and I shift my mind to our new paradigm, being together as a family in a foreign land.  The boys are relaxed and confident; they’ve been here before and they’re pros at this.  Adam tells me he’s happy to be back:  “I feel like this is my second home!”  Their dad looks exhausted.  He tells me he’s only slept 5 hours since Sunday because he’s had so many loose ends at home to tie up: work, packing, taking care of our dog, household stuff.

Mike, Adam & Alex arrive at Seeb International Airport in Muscat

I try to see my world through their eyes.  I remember the first time I came to Oman in September of 2011.  At that time, I arrived late at night.  It was sweltering and humid even at 11 p.m. at night.  Everything seemed surreal, with the haze of humidity in the air, the long curvaceous road to Nizwa in the dark, the mountains sporadically looming up beside the road like solid alien sentries.  I know for Mike, it must seem this way, dreamlike and bewildering. Though it’s not hot now on January nights, there is a haze of dust in the air that lends a strange aura to the landscape.  On the other hand, I sense a whole different experience for Alex and Adam.  They’re comfortable; they feel a kinship with this place.  They carry a memory of our shared experience and now they look forward to sharing it with their dad.  As do I.

Our drive to Nizwa is filled with reminiscences about last January, when Alex and Adam were here with me.  They talk about where they want to go again while here: “Wadi Shab!  Camp Al Areesh!  We should make Dad drive through the Empty Quarter to Salalah!!”  There’s a debate about the treacherous drive over the Hajar Mountains: Alex felt car-sick and uncomfortable the whole time and doesn’t want to do it (this might have to do with the fact that I almost killed all three of us on that drive!). I tell them there is plenty to do, and they can do anything they want.  I tell them our plan for the weekend.  They’re enthusiastic to embark on our new adventure.

They point out the Omanis parked along the highway, sitting on the ground in the dark, hanging out with their friends.  Adam says, “That’s so cool.  I want to do that!”

I love having them here.  It will be fun to see Oman anew with their enthusiastic eyes.  Stay tuned for the coming adventure. 🙂

happy birthday, adam! {my “pearl harbor day” son}

Friday, December 7: Today is my youngest son Adam’s 20th birthday!  I can’t believe he’s now 20 years old.

Adam is smart & he’s passionate about his beliefs.  He’s handsome and funny and personable. He’s a member of the Green Club, as well as a yoga/meditation club, at Northern Virginia Community College. He’s athletic; he used to be the goalie for the Oakton High School lacrosse team.  He’s also a vegan and believes strongly in animal rights.

I love him and miss him with all my heart.  I wish I could be with him today, but of course it’s not possible.  Luckily, he is due to come visit me on New Year’s Day!  Here’s a photo gallery of Adam.

Adam wearing his red plaid Christmas vest

Adam, me and Alex

Sarah, Alex and Adam

Alex and Adam (in red)

Adam learns to crawl

me with Adam in our Oakton, Virginia kitchen

Alex as fireman and Adam as dalmation

Adam, my little pumpkin

Adam on the dock at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland

Adam ready to wakeboard in his wetsuit at Deep Creek Lake

Adam in Oman, standing on the edge of a falaj

Adam at Diana’s Point, Jebel Akhdar, Oman

Adam and Alex talk to the Bangladeshi vendor about bananas in Salalah

Alex & Adam in Salalah, Oman

Adam in Salalah

Adam and me at Camp Al Areesh in Oman last January

Adam at Deep Creek Lake this summer, on his MacBook Pro

Happy birthday, Adam!

my son arrives in oman by priority mail ~ a strange little dream

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Oman, United States of America

Friday, November 4:  The nights in Nizwa are beautiful nowadays, so in the last week I’ve slept with my windows open and a lovely breeze wafting through my bedroom.  Last night in particular this made for a serene sleep conducive to dreams.

my fun-loving and adventurous son Adam

In the last week, I have been expecting with great anticipation a package from my family in the USA. It will mainly consist of some Ecco hiking sandals, some books and DVDs I had to remove from my suitcases because they were over the weight limit, some clothes from my own wardrobe back home that I now know would be perfect here, plus some purchases I made online from my favorite store in the USA, anthropologie.  People who know me know that anthropologie is my dream store and even my being located on the other side of the planet will not keep me from purchasing clothes from this amazingly cool shop.

anthropologie: my favorite store in the USA

All week I have been expecting this package and going by the Birkat al Mouz post office to check and see if maybe it has arrived and they have forgotten to call me. I was really hoping to have it before I went to Jordan, especially for the Ecco hiking sandals.  But alas, Thursday was the last day of the week for the post office and it did not arrive.  I leave for Muscat later this morning (Friday) and fly out early Saturday to Jordan. So I will have to do without my long-awaited treasures.

adam and our border collie, bailey

Lately I have also been thinking a lot about the planned visit of my youngest son Adam to Oman.  I’m thinking that in January, when we have our semester break, the weather and all other conditions should be go for his visit.

SO. Put all that together and I guess my mind concocted this strange little dream.

Adam standing, Alex in the foreground

In this dream, I am in my office at the university and suddenly, right before closing time, three Omani men wearing the dishdasha burst into my office with a good-size package.  I have given up hope on getting it, so I jump when they walk in and cry out, “Oh my god! It’s here!” The men in dishdasha leave as quickly as they came, and I hear a baby crying.  I suddenly remember that my son Adam was going to sneak into Oman in the package!  Why he would do this I have no idea as it is perfectly easy to get into Oman.  I open the package as quickly as possible, pulling out all the clothes and the Ecco sandals and more clothes and flinging them around my office.  I still hear the baby crying.  At the bottom of the box are the heavy books and the DVDs and I think, poor Adam, he’s probably crushed under all these books!  But there is nothing at the bottom.  I still hear the crying, so I turn over the package and there is a zipper pocket on the bottom of the box.  By this time the crying has stopped. I pull open the zipper carefully and see the baby version of Adam.  His face is all swollen and bruised.  As I pull the zipper to the bottom, suddenly Adam morphs into his 6’2″ 18-year-old self and says, “Never again!” I say, “Adam, why on earth did you do this?  Whose idea was this?  Your dad’s or yours?”  He says, “Mine, of course.  I thought it would be a cool adventure.”

Adam, me and Alex at Deep Creek Lake this summer. Alex came to visit me in Korea last year.

Insane.  This captures my son in a nutshell.  He is always game to try some crazy stunt just for the adventure of it.  Lately Adam’s dad tells me Adam and my other son, Alex, have been hiking up Old Rag in the Shenandoah Mountains in their bare feet. The Old Rag hike is a 6-7 hour hike, so to do it in their bare feet is, simply, crazy. When they get to the top, they spend a couple of hours scrambling around on the sheer rocks then hike back down in their bare feet.  This is Adam.  I know that these kinds of ideas are always his.  I really can’t wait for him to come to Oman because I’m sure he’ll want to try every kind of adventure available here.

me with all my children: Alex, Sarah and Adam down in front, me in back

It’s crazy how a person’s mind puts together all the things in one’s subconscious to write these strange dream stories. Dreams seem so fantastical, yet when you look at all the things happening in your life, there you see the dream as a mirror of your life.  Funny this.  And quite astounding, the human mind.