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Friday, May 17: A couple of weeks ago, I watched an intriguing Japanese movie called After Life, known in Japan as Wonderful Life (ワンダフルライフ). This is a 1998 film by Japanese director Hirokazu Koreeda starring Arata, Oda Erika and Terajima Susumu.
Koreeda’s After Life is set in a way station where the souls of the recently deceased are processed before entering heaven. “Heaven,” in the film, is a single happy memory from one’s life, re-experienced for eternity.
The movie is set in a building resembling a decrepit travel lodge or social services institution. Every Monday, a new group of recently deceased people check in, and the “social workers” in the lodge explain to each guest their situation. The newly-dead have until Wednesday to identify the single happiest memory. For the rest of the week, the workers at the institution work to design and replicate each person’s chosen memory, thereby replicating the single happiest moment of that person’s life, and it is filmed.
At the end of the week, the recently deceased watch the films of their recreated happiest memories in a screening room. As soon as each person sees his or her own memory, he or she vanishes to whatever unknown state of existence lies beyond and takes only that single memory with them, to live and relive for eternity (Wikipedia: After Life (film)).
I found this movie fascinating and, over the last several weeks, I have pondered this question: If I had to choose ONE happy memory from my life to relive over and over for all eternity, what would it be?
Some of the memories chosen by the people who stopped at the way station on this particular week were as follows:
- A pilot recalls flying through clouds in a small plane with a breeze dancing across his face.
- A woman recalls performing a dance for her father when she was a little girl and his happiness at watching her dance.
- One man, Ichiro, thinks of his life as uneventful and can’t think of any moment that he would like to relive for all eternity. It turns out he married counselor Takashi’s former fiancée after Takashi was killed in World War II. Ichiro thought of his marriage as nothing special.
- One young man refuses to pick one memory from his past and insists on filming a “memory” that he imagines in the future that, sadly, will never be his.
- One woman imagines sitting on a bench in a garden with the love of her life.
I found it interesting that the moments were not earth-shattering, but were generally quiet moments of peace and bliss. I have been reflecting on memories of my life and I wonder what I would choose to relive for all eternity if I had to choose. These are some of the memories that have come to mind.
- Lying in bed at my grandmother’s house in Petersburg, Virginia listening to the rain pattering on the tin roof. I always felt so warm, safe and loved when I was with my grandmother. To this day, I still dream she has been alive all these years and no one has thought to tell me.
me with my Dorothy doll at my grandmother’s house
- Waking up and sneaking quietly downstairs to the Christmas tree every Christmas morning when I was a child, BEFORE I learned there was no Santa Claus. 😦 My mother always made Christmas magical.
- Lying on cots on Martha’s grandmother’s screened-in sleeping porch at Sandy Point on the Potomac River. It was dark, and fireflies flitted outside, and we talked and talked until we fell asleep.
- Sitting with my maternal grandfather beside a river in Colorado while he made scrambled eggs with chili powder over a hot fire. Riding horses in a valley in the midst of the Rockies.
- Hanging out at Lake Gaston with three of my best friends in the summer, playing cards, swimming in the lake, water-skiing, and sneaking out to go skinny-dipping after dark.
me, Rosie, Louise and Charlene at Lake Gaston
- Staying up all night on Virginia Beach with my first true love, David.
- Playing games, mainly Charades or Scrabble, with my brothers and sisters on Thanksgiving Day.
Stephanie, Bill, Robbie, me and Brian playing Scrabble
- Driving across the country with my first husband Bill, and seeing my first view of the Grand Tetons.
- Rafting down the Salmon River in Idaho for 7 days with Bill and a group of friends from William & Mary.
- Having my parents come to visit Bill and Sarah and me when we lived in Richmond, Virginia.
Dad, Mom, me, Sarah and Bill at our house in Richmond
- Holding hands with Mike, my second husband, as we walked through the National Gallery of Art in Washington. As we walked, he kept gently rubbing the palm of my hand with his fingers.
- Hiking with Mike on Billy Goat’s trail on the Maryland side of the Potomac River in the fall, and stopping to have a picnic overlooking the river. He shared with me the grief he felt at losing his first wife to breast cancer. Or, canoeing with Mike on the Potomac River and reading to each other from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet.
canoeing with Mike on the Potomac
- Being handed each of my three children, Sarah, Alex and Adam, right after they were born. How would I ever choose one of these memories over another?
- Walking with Mike through the Cotswolds in England following the Ordnance maps and being amazed that we were allowed to walk through people’s properties.
- Hiking with Mike along Catbells Ridge in England’s Lake District in the midst of a lovely breeze.
- Dressing up my sons in fireman and Dalmatian costumes and pulling them in a red wagon through the neighborhood to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
Alex as fireman & Adam as Dalmatian for Halloween
- Picking apples at Stribling Orchard with Mike and the boys on a cool October day.
Alex & Adam picking apples on a cool October day at Stribling Orchard
- Having wine and heart-to-heart conversations with R~ at Mei’s Asian Bistro in Arlington, Virginia.
- My birthday in 2007 with R~ at a restaurant in Washington, D.C.
- An evening with my daughter Sarah sharing wine and food in Richmond, Virginia.
Spending time with Sarah in Richmond sampling food and wine at various establishments 🙂
- Listening to the music of Omar Khairat on a beautiful fall day in Virginia, accompanied by a breeze from the open window, while chatting online with my Egyptian friend Ahmed.
- Walking through the wetlands of Suncheon Bay in South Korea on a breezy day.
a happy memory at Suncheon Bay in South Korea
- Playing Ticket to Ride with my friends in Korea, Seth and Anna.
Playing Ticket to Ride
- Spending a day walking through the cave churches of Cappadocia in Turkey with a fun and lively group of fellow travelers from Brazil and Italy.
a happy day in Cappadocia, Turkey
- Eating fresh mushrooms with dill, accompanied by a glass of red wine, at the Dimrit Restaurant in Cappadocia, and flirting with the head waiter.
a night at the Dimrit Restaurant in Cappadocia
- Floating in a hot air balloon over Cappadocia in Turkey.
hot air ballooning in Cappadocia
- Floating on a junk on Halong Bay in Vietnam and having dinner and wine with a fascinating group of fellow nomads.
floating on a junk on Halong Bay: the happiness cruise
- Swimming into the beautiful cave at Wadi Shab in Oman with my sons in January 2012.
the entrance to the pools at Wadi Shab. We have to swim back through a number of pools to get to the cave.
- Waking up in Rethymno, Crete at Barbara Studios to a lovely breeze coming through some sheer curtains and anticipating the day ahead exploring Rethymno.
a breeze through the curtains at Barbara Studio in Crete
- Drinking a glass of red wine on the rooftop of the Acropolis View Hotel in Athens, Greece and enjoying the view of the Acropolis.
me sitting on the roof of the Acropolis View Hotel
Of course, these are only a few of the multitudes of happy memories I have in my life. I think I will add to this post as I think of more. Maybe someday, at some way station on the way to heaven, I will need to choose. Just possibly, this list will help me narrow it down. 🙂
Next week, I will try to post about my happiest memories in Oman over the last 20 months. 🙂
How would I ever choose just one memory to relive for all eternity?
What memory would you choose if you could choose just one?
Might be my favourite post of yours – I know so much more about you. A quick question though and thankfully my eyes aren’t what they were. Is the last pic ever so slightly x rated? 😀
Thanks so much, mrs. carmichael. Oh my gosh!! My son’s bathing suit has a a diagonal block of yellow in the front, which looks in this picture like it might be his skin!! Oh dear, I think I better change that picture!! So funny what fresh (and I mean fresh in several ways!) eyes can see! 🙂
Now I’m laughing. Probably the highlight of my Saturday. Thank you.
I’m having a good laugh at my end too! Funny how I never noticed that!! I’m changing the picture right now. Sadly that is the only pic I have of my sons in that spot. 🙂
you could always leave it but not sure your son would thank you.
Yes, you are so right. He wouldn’t have thought anything was wrong with the picture, since he’s familiar with that bathing suit, but if he heard what other people thought, he would be quite embarrassed! 🙂
Thought-provoking, this post. Conjuring up memories now, but how do you ever pick one? My first, instant reaction – sitting on my front deck in the summer with my kids and a glass of wine.
That sounds like a perfect memory, Carol. I love it and can imagine it perfectly. 🙂
Your question will help me occupy my mind during idle moments over the next few weeks! What a great question to ponder. I think that I, like you, will have so many that it will be difficult to choose. I’m also going to look for that movie…
I can’t wait to hear about your memories when you come up with some! Let me know what you think about the movie. It’s a little slow-moving, but very thought-provoking. 🙂
What a brilliant concept of what heaven would be, Cathy. I love it. I so enjoyed all of your happy memories, and like you would be hard pressed to come up with one single one. It would have to include hubby and my two children though. 🙂
I thought for sure the movie presented an interesting idea, but I would hate to think we’d have to limit ourselves to one memory. I have too many I want to remember. Although last night I was reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and it discussed reincarnation and why, if we had past lives, we can’t remember them. The author suggested we can’t even remember things in this life, so why should we expect to remember things from past lives? Interesting. I’d love to hear one of your memories, with husband and children.
Loved this post Cathy. I have had that movie for years and keep meaning to watch it. I did not know that is what it was about. I would not hesitate to choose my favourite memory. Before leaving home at 18, I was taken out of high school every winter to spend 6 or 8 weeks in Acapulco with my mom and dad and their friends, learning Spanish, laying in the sun, eating amazing fish and fries on the rustic deserted beaches we used to find on stretches of beach (unspoiled before the cheap package deals, boorish tourists, time shares and drug lords wrecked the place), at the same time listening all day to mariachi music on Radio Mar when the days at the beach seemed to last forever, between 1974-77. The water was clean, suntan oil consisted of coconut oil without sunscreen, when parents drank and smoked and no one bugged anyone about that after working their asses off for months and months at three jobs to afford these vacations every year. I was around fifteen years old and was so happy then, just me and my mom and dad and their best friends, having the best time ever, without my sister around. I would relive any of those three particular holidays, with the same people, over and over again forever, with every day we were there being exactly the same. No hesitation. None of the travelling I have done on my own, nothing from my marriage or my friends whom I adore, just me and my mom and dad in Acapulco when I was in my teens. Those were the happiest time of my life. Nothing has ever come close to the pure joy and innocence of when I believed everyone in the whole world was as happy and as safe and secure and loved and as lucky as I was
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Isn’t that wonderful that you have those happy memories you can take with you wherever you go? Thanks for sharing the memory so vividly with us here. 🙂
Wow. You’ve done a lot. Some of those things, like being in a hot air balloon seem pretty exciting to me.
One of my favourite memories is of lying in the dark of my tent with my young daughter, and chatting quietly. Soooo peaceful. Then realizing that she hadn’t responded to my last query. She had fallen asleep. Lovely.
That is such a special moment, Sybil. Don’t you love those small little moments that stay in your heart forever? Thanks so much for sharing this. 🙂
What an interesting & thought provoking post, Cathy! I now feel I must also watch the film.You are right – the happiest memories are rarely earth-shattering explosions. And your chosen favorites are lovely.
Thanks so much, Tahira. It really got me to thinking about how we have to really soak in those fleeting moments of pure pleasure. Often those are the ones we remember, if we’re paying attention. 🙂
What a great post. You are so open, and have not only done many things, but thoroughly enjoyed them. I love the question, and of course, my mind is going a million miles an hour. I also like the way you traveled chronologically through time, and had the pictures to remember them. I will only share one of my first, since this is your post, and not mine. My maternal grandfather made me feel more loved than anyone in my preschool life. I remember hours of sitting on his lap at the dining room table after a meal, listening to stories of “olden times” while playing with his huge fingers and hands. I remember he bounced me on his knee in time to songs he would sing to me, and how I would giggle as he wiggled his flexed biceps or cupped his hands and whistled. I was thoroughly charmed by his antics.
Wow, I’m so glad you shared this memory, Marsha. I wanted my readers to participate, and I loved hearing of your memory. Isn’t it funny how certain people in our lives can make us feel so loved? Those are the really special moments we will cherish forever.
Thank you. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I spent quite a bit of time “camping out,” as Russel Ray would say, on your blog. It was time well spent! 🙂
Thanks so much for camping out in my blog during your sleepless night. I hope it didn’t put you back to sleep too easily! Ha! 🙂
It never does. Your posts are so thoughtful I can remember them days later, and see the pictures in my mind. I really loved your growing up pictures. They bring fond memories of my own growing up years. 🙂
Thanks so much. I know what you mean about the photos jogging memories. I wish I had more of them scanned…..
I know. I have a million of my dad’s slides, and I bought a special scanner to do slides, and I still have only done a few. It takes so much time. I have done a few of our very old pictures, like the one of my mom and dad’s wedding. But I have many more that I haven’t done. And I’ve lost many, I’m sure. I haven’t even started on ones that I have taken over the years. 🙂 New tasks! 🙂
It takes so long to scan photos and I have hundreds of them I’d like to scan or digitalize somehow. Is there any way to give someone all your negatives and have them put them on disk or something???
I think there is. Drugstores used to do it, I believe. I haven’t checked into doing it. 🙂
I think I will check into it once I return home. 🙂
There are online places as well if you google it. Here is one I just found. http://www.fotobridge.com/ I just watched a great video on digitizing. http://bit.ly/10ToJmI You’d enjoy it. That will get you started at least. 🙂
Thanks so much for sending me these links, Marsha. When I get back to the USA, I can’t wait to start converting!
Yes! 🙂 It will be fun, and Ill benefit by seeing your blog! 🙂
Thanks! I’m glad you think it will be a benefit. 🙂
I do. Time is moving you closer to Barcelona! 🙂
You have had a truly interesting life, seen so many places, met so many people – a life well-lived already…. and still, so much more to come. Glad you are writing about it and sharing with the world.
Thanks so much, Annette. I try to make it as interesting as I can; what else is there to do, after all? I hope to do the same once I get home to the USA, seeing everything with fresh vision. 🙂
What a great post. As I started reading it I began to think how hard it would be to pick just one happy moment to relive forever, so I woas relieved to read on and find out that you would find it very hard too! I really enjoyed seeing all the photos of your happy moments. 🙂
Thanks so much, Elaine. I really hope we never have to choose just one happy memory to keep; I’d hate to lose all the rest. 🙂
I can’t imagine having to choose one of anything! ; ) This post would be great to add to a memoir.
Thanks so much, Lynn. I’d hate to have to choose just one!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing a lifetime of beautiful memories with us Cathy! This post underlines the impossible task of choosing one memory to relive in eternity 🙂
I’m glad you liked my memories, Madhu. I’m sure you have many amazing ones yourself. It really would be impossible to choose just one! 🙂
Wonderful post Cathy. I love the honesty that shines through in your posts.
I didn’t know my grand fathers and was quite envious when I read the scramble egg memory.
I don’t know the movie. Will make sure to watch it now.
Thank you so much, Rosie. It means a lot to me that you see honesty in my posts. I want to be as open as possible because when I read other writers I really enjoy it when they open themselves up.
I really loved both of my grandfathers, especially my paternal grandfather, simply because he was more involved in my life. My maternal grandfather lived far away and this memory I speak of is one of the few I have of him, and it was really special. I think you might like the movie, Rosie. 🙂
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This is the one that leapt out at me, Cathy, and it’s totally fascinating. Talk about a life well-lived! And you’re only just getting in gear 🙂
No idea what memory I would select, before you ask, and I can’t spend the afternoon thinking about it or I’ll get nothing else done. I’m pretty sure you’ll have a wonderful memory to relive though, when you do go. Long may you go on creating them! 🙂
Thanks so much, Jo. I’m glad you enjoyed this post; that movie was really interesting and inspirational. It was fun to think of a memory I would choose, but it would be hard to pick just one. I have too many wonderful ones. 🙂 I really hope I can go on creating them. 🙂