Wednesday, June 26: A small group of us gathered for a final meal together at our favorite local restaurant, Spicy Village, on this evening following my last day at the university. Tahira, Mario and Francois showed up this time around. Francois is hilarious, and so is Mario; they had us all laughing uproariously, probably disrupting the other diners. What a great night. And the food was delicious, except for the bit of stomach upset it caused me all night long. 🙂 Meaning I only got about 5 hours of sleep. 😦
spring rolls at Spicy Village
Don’t ya love Francois’s starfish shirt?
Tahira & Francois
Mario
Mario, me and Francois, with Tahira behind the camera
This ranks as one of my topmost evenings in the lovely town of Nizwa!!
Thursday, June 13: This evening, I extend an open invitation to teachers from the Foundation Institute who aren’t already on their summer holiday to come over for an open house sale of my “stuff” and a farewell gathering. It turns out that not that many people come, but the people who do are the ones who matter the most to me. Tahira makes a salad, Anna makes paella, and Fouzia makes a wonderful carrot cake to which everyone becomes quickly addicted. I mostly just bring stuff from the deli at Lulu and of course, as I do at every party I’ve ever hosted, I buy way too much, especially for the number of people who come.
my entryway… Welcome!
food spread starts to grow
For sale! and partially packed boxes (so exciting!)
the beginnings of packing
Living room
Living room/study 🙂
I actually prefer an intimate party to a loud boisterous one, although it’s great when we have some boisterousness in a small group. We all sit around together and talk and eat, and only at the end do a couple of people walk out with my goods, namely Anna, who buys the best coffee table I have ever owned for 20 rials. I am sad to have to leave it behind, but it is way too big to ship, especially with the exorbitant shipping costs from Oman to America.
goodbye to my beloved coffee table
my bedroom
Last shots of my house before people take off with my stuff
In attendance are Fouzia and her son Yassim, Tahira and Lynnette, Malcolm, Mario, Anna, and Robin. We mostly tell funny stories about our students and the university and our colleagues. All good for a few (or more) laughs. I will really miss these kind-hearted and humorous folks who have become my friends during my time at the fabulous University of Nizwa. 🙂
Robin
Malcolm
Anna chews on a plastic cup
At this point I still have two more weeks in Oman, and in the next week I need to finish packing all my stuff to ship by cargo to the good old USA.
Thursday, May 2: This week in Oman has been surreal. It’s been raining some part of every day for over a week now. In the entire 19 months I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen it rain this much or for this long a period of time. Many students didn’t show up for parts of last week. They were unable to get from their villages to Nizwa because of flooding wadis.
Inside Nizwa Fort
at Nizwa Fort
Nizwa Fort
a door at the fort
closeup of the door
entering the fort
Looking down on Nizwa mosque from the fort
looking over Nizwa souq area from the Fort
inside the fort looking up at the heavy clouds
On top of the rain, we have been given a 3-day weekend this Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Oman, as of May 1, is shifting its weekends from Thursday-Friday to Friday-Saturday. I understand this shift is happening in order to line up Oman’s weekends with the weekends observed by the other Gulf countries. After this weekend, we will have Friday and Saturday off each week.
an outdoor room at Nizwa Fort
the minaret of Nizwa mosque
Finally, since the weather has been hot, humid and threatening rain, since traveling is dangerous (people are often killed in Oman trying to cross flooding wadis), and since I sold my GMC Terrain and am now driving a tiny Suzuki Celerio, I cannot go out exploring wadis on this three-day weekend. On top of that, I’m trying to save every penny for my month-long trip to Spain and Portugal on my way home to the USA at the end of June. I consider going to Muscat this weekend to spend the day at a pool or the beach, but as rain clouds are still darkening the skies and money is in short supply, I decide against it.
Nizwa souq
Nizwa souq
Nizwa souq
pottery at Nizwa souq
more pottery
arches hung with pottery
the souq
So, what to do?
I decide to do some experimenting with my camera at Nizwa Fort and Souq. To reflect the dreary day that it is, I take photos with the sepia setting. Surprisingly, I find I like the atmospheric photos, which make the souq look like it’s in the middle of ancient Arabia, except for the modern-day cars.
When I arrive at the souq, I find the parking lot is slightly flooded. The air is heavy and damp, unlike Nizwa’s usually dry air. Cars are barreling through the flooded parking lot, and Omanis, Indians, Pakistanis & Bangladeshis are riding their bicycles through the water or rolling up their pants legs or pulling up their dishdashas to cross the water. I go into Nizwa Fort and climb to the top to take some photos of Nizwa mosque and the town. I walk through the souq and stop for a cold Lipton Peach-flavored iced tea.
the outside wall of Nizwa souq
a Bangladeshi tries to ride across the flooded parking lot on his bicycle
the entrance to the nut souq
the door to the nut souq
in the nut souq
Nizwa mosque
Then, when I am thoroughly drenched in sweat, I return to my air-conditioned flat, where I put on my pajamas and hunker in for the day.
Thursday, April 25: Today I drop by the Lulu Hypermarket in Nizwa to pick up a few items. I’m shocked to see long lines down each aisle of the huge store. Omani families are lined up with grocery carts overflowing with food and clothing items. It looks like people are getting ready to hunker down in their homes for some natural disaster. Each line goes all the way down a different aisle. I have never in my 18 months seen the Lulu like this so I ask what’s happening. It turns out today is Pay Day in Oman!
I have to wait a half hour in my line. One man stands at the front near the register ready to pounce. He looks like he’s waiting for the perfect opportunity to cut in line at any moment. As I am never one to allow myself to be stepped on, I tell him, pointing to the end of the line of at least 15 families: “Sir, the line is back there. You will NOT be getting in front of us.” He says, “Don’t worry. I’m not planning to do that.” The next thing I know he has moved to another line and promptly cuts in front of someone else. Argh!!
Wednesday, April 24: I listed my 2008 GMC Terrain for sale on April 1, just as I planned. I was worried about the whole process because 1) I’m always a worrier and 2) I’m a foreigner in Oman and don’t know all the ins and outs of doing business here. So, as you can imagine, my stomach was tied in knots as I went through this process. All I could do was take steps that I thought would lead me to my goal and keep my fingers crossed that everything would work out as it should.
My GMC Terrain all clean and shiny
The hardest part was determining a price because Blue Book values as we know them in the United States are not applicable here in the Gulf. The price is determined solely by the market. I looked at similar 4-wheel drive vehicles with prices ranging from 4,000 rials to 5,600 rials, with higher mileage than mine. But I knew I had paid 5,550 ($14,421) for mine in November of 2011 and I’d put 60,000 km on it in 18 months. I am a good and gentle driver, but I often took the car off-road into wadis and up mountains in less than ideal driving conditions.
The Terrain on the dirt road through the Hajar Mountains, a harrowing 70 km route.
the Terrain at the bottom of Wadi Bani Auf
I had done all the proper servicing through the GMC authorized service garage, but I also knew there were some problems with the car: 1) One was the small dent on the front driver’s side of the hood, which was there when I bought it. I didn’t know the origin of that dent and so couldn’t answer potential buyers’ questions about it. 2) The tires were questionable, but my friend Tony looked at them in December and told me that the tread was good and the tires were perfectly good. Mike also looked at them when he was here in January and agreed that the tread was good and I didn’t need to replace them.
the small dent in the driver’s side hood
3) The last issue was the electrical system of the car. Before I first bought the car, I took it to Precision Auto for a computerized test. They told me a few minor problems that needed fixing, but they also said that there was some kind of electrical problem with the car. However, they couldn’t determine what it was. I could tell that in a small panel in the dashboard, the date and time didn’t work. My CD player and radio worked, but I couldn’t advance through tracks because the button didn’t work. But everything else seemed to be just fine, so I never bothered with checking it further.
the time and time electrical panel on the dashboard never worked
Mario told me the way he got a value for his used car when he sold it was to go to the Toyota dealer and pretend he was interested in buying a new car. So I took his advice and went to visit them. Of course, it didn’t help that I had originally bought my car from this same Toyota dealer, so they knew the whole history of the car. This is life in a small town in Oman.
This is where I originally bought the car in Nizwa
I told them I was looking to buy a Toyota RAV and that I wanted to know what value they would give me for a trade-in. The same guy who sold it to me asked how much I owed on the car and I told him 2,600 rials. After a couple of hours of thought, he called me back and told me he’d give me 3,000 ($7,795) on a trade-in!! I was shocked at the low value, so I called my husband Mike in Virginia and told him the situation. Being the finance guy that he is, as controller for a large government contractor, he did an extensive analysis with detailed spread sheets telling me the dealer would mark up the car about 20%, up to about 3,600 rials or more. Thus I should expect to get about 3,400 in the private market. He said I’d do well to get my loan paid off and recoup about 1/2 of my down payment of 1,400 rials. So the ideal sale value would be about 3,400 rials. Because I know everyone wants to think they’re getting a good deal, I raised my asking price to 3,700 rials ($9,614).
The Toyota dealer in Nizwa gave me a very low offer on a trade-in 😦
I started by telling my students, who immediately texted their uncles, brothers and fathers with the news. I put up an ad on Dubizzle, an online free advertising site for the Gulf. I sent an email to everyone in the Foundation Institute at the University of Nizwa, with a link to my Dubizzle ad. I put up flyers all over the university. A number of expats at the university told me my 3,700 asking price was a very good price.
And the calls started coming in.
The barrage of calls I got in the first two weeks were Omanis calling or sending text messages: “What is your last price?” I quickly got annoyed with this question about the “last price,” as I was certainly not going to tell them my last price. After all, who really knows what their “last price” is until they decide to accept that price? The last price always depends on the seller’s level of desperation — how quickly the seller wants to get rid of the vehicle. My last price in June, when I am due to leave, would certainly be lower than my last price in April, when I still have several months to go.
At first, in answer to this question, I would say, “I’m not going to tell you my last price. You can make me a reasonable offer and I’ll tell you whether I will accept it.” But I quickly found this was a waste of time. They’d make me an offer of 2,500 or 2,700 or 2,900 or 3,000 and then refuse to budge. So I finally started answering that my last price was 3,500 ($9,094). That immediately eliminated the people who were wasting my time.
The other calls and texts I received said the following: “I’ll give you 2,500 rials ($6,500) upon inspection of the car.” I got so many of these calls, I figured out that these were Omanis looking to buy the car at a low price, then mark it up and resell it. I got to the point where I cut these people off, either by not responding to their texts or telling them in the phone calls that they were way too low so there was no point in wasting time talking.
I showed the car many times at this Lulu Hypermarket
The first person I showed the car to was an Egyptian pharmacist who works in Birkat al Mouz. When he took the car (with me inside) on a test drive from the Lulu Hypermarket, he almost wrecked the car before we even got out of the parking lot. Then he drove the car at about 150 km/hour on a road where no one should be going that fast, looking at me and talking with his hands and swerving over the line. I kept having to yell at him, “Slow down! Watch out! You’re going too fast!” When we finally returned to the Lulu parking lot, happily unscathed, he said, I’ll give you 2,800 right this minute. I said no. I said 3,500. He came up to 2,900. I said 3,500. He said he wouldn’t come up anymore and I said I wouldn’t come down. So we parted ways. A week later he called and asked if I changed my mind. I said, I’m not yet desperate. Call me back in June and if I still haven’t sold it, I’ll consider your offer.
Another long line of Omanis at the university asked to test drive it. The car has always been noisy and make a kind of shimmying noise, but some of these people were commenting that the tires were not good and that was what was making the noise. I said no, I had been assured by several people that the tread on the tires was good. They said, no, in Oman, because of the heat, the tires can have good tread but they get very dry and hard. They insisted that was what the noise was. I heard this comment enough times that I started to think they might be right. I went to see a friend’s trusted mechanic who told me that yes, the tires were responsible for the noise.
On the weekend of April 11, Mario and I were on our way to Wadi Bani Kharous and we stopped in Muscat to show the car to two Omani brothers. They drove the car and made an offer to buy the car at 3,300 right then and there, AFTER they took the car to Precision Auto to have a computerized test done. By then I was getting sick of the effort of selling the car, and sick of the really low offers and it was close to my “last price” of 3,400. When they took the car to Precision Auto, the computerized test showed some problem, as it had when I first bought the car, with the electrical system. They said something about a catalytic something that senses buildup in the exhaust system and said it could present a POTENTIAL problem in the future. By this time, the two Omani brothers had been joined by their father and several other brothers to inspect the car. A whole family affair!! They asked the mechanic at Precision Auto if he could guarantee there would be no problems for 5 years. Of course the mechanic couldn’t guarantee such a thing. They tried to get me to come down further on my price and I said the car was already discounted for the unknown of this electrical problem. The deal fell through and Mario and I went on our merry way to Wadi Bani Kharous.
The next day, on our way back through Muscat, another Omani drove the car and offered me 3,200 and told me to think about it a few days. I told him I would do so, and then we returned home to Nizwa.
In the meantime, one of my colleagues had expressed interest in the car, but she needed to obtain financing. She didn’t give me a deposit, nor did I have anything in writing from her that she would buy the car. Therefore it was impossible for me to hold it for her. She and I had agreed on a price of 3,500, but I had determined that until the deal was done, I would sell it to whoever made me a reasonable offer first and could close the deal.
Finally, last Thursday, April 18, two Omani friends, Badr and Senad, came to look at the car. Senad came because Badr can’t speak English, so he came to translate. Badr had heard about the car from a student at the university who had seen my flyer. Badr, who is from Suwaiq in Al Batinah on the north coast of Oman, wanted the car for his wife. He has four children from 2 years old to 8 years old. When he drove the car, immediately he asked about the electrical panel and I said it has never worked since I bought the car. He mentioned that the tires seemed to be a problem. He asked me my “last price” and I told him someone at the university had offered me 3,500 but she was trying to get financing. However, I said, if you want to give me 3,400 today ($8,835), I will sell it to you now. Badr decided he liked the car and said he would go to the bank to get the money. We had to meet at the finance company to pay off the loan and get a release letter. I would get the difference in cash.
We had an hour to wait until the finance company opened, so I ran home and cleaned out my car while they went to Bank Muscat to get the cash. When we got to the finance company, Oman ORIX Leasing, we found that Badr could pay off my loan, but it would take a number of days to get the release letter from their Muscat head office. The police station is closed on Thursday anyway, so it was impossible to transfer the registration until after the weekend. We agreed since they had to wait to get the clear title, Badr would just pay off the loan We would draw up a bill of sale for the difference of 879 rials ($2,284), and we would meet next week at the police station to do the transfer. However, as Oman ORIX Leasing wouldn’t open again until Sunday (the bank weekends are Friday and Saturday), it would take until Monday or Tuesday to get the release letter. I had the sudden realization that the payment for the Terrain of 141 rials/month had just come out of my account and thus I had no money to rent a car, which I would need to do right away. So Badr gave me 200 rials ($520) of the 879 rials he owed me, leaving a 679 rial balance remaining ($1,764).
Oman ORIX Leasing, where I have my loan
When we walked out of the finance company, Badr opened the back car door of the Terrain and ripped off the FOR SALE sign I had taped to the inside window. “Khalas! (Finished!),” he said happily. Then I drove the Terrain and he drove his Nissan Altima to Muscat, where we met at the Clocktower Roundabout. We drove together to a used car lot where someone drew up the bill of sale for the remaining 679 rials. As we were driving, Badr again mentioned that the tires were no good. These Omanis know their cars, there is no question about that. Even though two people I trusted had told me the tires were good, they were Americans who didn’t understand what Oman’s heat can do to tires.
I handed over the keys and all the paperwork on the Terrain to Badr, keeping a copy of his ID card, the bill of sale, the receipt for the loan payoff, and the mokia (registration) for myself. I also had his phone number. We agreed to meet at the police station in Nizwa the following Wednesday morning, April 24, to do the transfer. He attends Master’s degree classes at the University on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, so that seemed to be the perfect arrangement.
After all of this, he kindly dropped me off at the airport where I went directly to Budget Cars and rented a turquoise Suzuki Celerio for 150 rials/month. That is $390!! Outrageous! My car payment on the Terrain had only been $141 rials a month, and that for an all-wheel drive!
me with my Suzuki Celerio rental car
Of course the unfinished deal left me with a lot of discomfort. I thought right away that both Badr and Senad were honest and upright people. It was just a feeling I had. I would have never felt that way dealing with that Egyptian who drove my car like a maniac. I was slightly worried that Badr might never show up to pay me the remaining balance. However, I had all the documents in order and could go to the police if he didn’t show up. My bigger concern was that when we met again, he would have had the car for a week and might decide there were more things about the car he didn’t like. I was afraid when we met again, he would try to wiggle his way out of paying the whole 679 rials on the grounds that he found repairs that needed to be made.
the Suzuki Celerio I will have until I leave Oman
Then we had a water debacle at the university. On Saturday, the beginning of the work week in Oman, there was no water in the university. As you can imagine, this started creating back ups in the toilets. Disgusting, yes. On Sunday, the situation was the same. The university decided to cancel classes for the week; however the administration insisted the teachers continue to come to work. As you can imagine, this made for some very unhappy teachers. I will write about this in another post.
This situation threw a glitch in my plans to meet Badr in Nizwa because if classes were cancelled he would have no need to come to Nizwa on Wednesday. However, when I communicated through Senad, he told me that the Master’s classes were not cancelled, so Badr would still come to Nizwa. During the week, I obtained the release letter from the finance company and transferred the insurance to Badr’s name, so I was ready to go on the final deal. In Oman, unlike in America, the insurance is on the car rather than the person, so when the car is sold, the insurance goes with it. I had just renewed my insurance for 175 rials in January of 2013, so the insurance was good through January 2014.
New India Assurance Company, where I transfer the insurance to Badr
On Tuesday and Wednesday it started raining in Oman. This is tantamount to a blizzard in the USA. When it rains here, everyone is afraid to drive because of flooding wadis. Many people are killed as they try to drive through raging wadis and get washed away. Apparently, the wadis in Al Batinah, where Badr lives, were quite problematic as the rains in the north had been quite heavy on Tuesday.
As I walked into the Nizwa police station through a steady rainfall on Wednesday morning, Senad called to tell me Badr wasn’t able to make it out of Suwaiq because of flooding wadis. He wouldn’t be coming to Nizwa after all. He suggested we could wait till next week, but I wasn’t happy with that. I wanted to close this deal, get my money and be done with it. I was already feeling so much anxiety and I didn’t want to go another week feeling this way. So I suggested that if Badr could at least drive to Muscat I would meet him there. Senad called Badr and he agreed to try. We both headed on our way to the Royal Oman Police in Muscat.
In Muscat, there are four or five police buildings across from the airport and I wasn’t sure which one I was supposed to go to. I drove through several parking lots looking for the Terrain. I called Senad and asked if Badr was driving the Terrain so I could look for it. He said, no, Badr is driving his Altima because the Terrain is in the shop! Gulp! I panicked, wondering what was wrong with the Terrain. I again feared that there was some problem and he was going to try to pay me less than we agreed for the car.
When I finally met Badr at the police station I knew all my fears were in vain. The first thing he did was proudly show me pictures of the Terrain on his phone. The dent on the front hood had been repaired and repainted and the car looked like brand new!! His excitement was infectious. I said, “How much?” He said 30 rials! That was nothing. He added that he also put 4 new tires on the car. I was afraid to ask, but I did anyway: “How much?” He said 350 rials ($909)!!! I was shocked. He said he needed to make the car perfect for his wife. It was so sweet!! He was as excited as a little boy who just got some brand new toy.
He asked to see the papers. I gave him the manual, which I had accidentally removed from the glove compartment when I cleaned out the car, and showed him the release paper and the insurance document. I asked about the money and he had the 679 rials bundled up in a rubber band. I counted it in front of him. He told me he had a friend in the police so we didn’t have to take a number; we could get in right away. We sat down with the policeman and the transfer was done in two minutes. Badr showed me pictures of his children, glowing.
Badr and his Altima
What a perfect ending for my GMC Terrain. I couldn’t have sold the car to a nicer person, someone who I know will love and take care of that car like it’s a precious gem. He obviously is a caring person – to his wife, his children and his possessions. I’m so thankful that he turned out to be the next owner of my much-loved little GMC Terrain that has enabled me to explore all the terrains in Oman!!
Badr, the new happy owner of my car
Finally, after leaving Badr in Muscat, I drive the long 1 1/2 hours to Nizwa in the pouring rain. Here’s some very rare video footage of rain in Oman.
Ma’a salama (مع السلامة) ~ Goodbye in Arabic ~ to my dear traveling vehicle! I hope that my little car will give him and his family as much happiness as it gave me. 🙂
Saturday, March 30: The WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge asks us to create a tiled gallery of A Day In My Life.
What does your day look like? Here’s your chance to share with everyone a day in your life! Here are some suggestions to get started: snap a picture once an hour and share what your day was like, walk us through a typical day for you, or even just what happened today!
Pick the best pictures which give your readers a sense of a day in your life and share them!
Since I’m 9 hours ahead of the east coast of the United States, I always get the photo challenge late on Friday afternoon. So for this challenge, I started taking photos on Friday evening. So my day is from Friday evening at 5:00 to Saturday evening at 5:00.
Friday afternoon: writing about the gift of time on my blog
I leave to go to Mario’s for a seafood, olive, veggie, tomato & olive pasta
Mario the chef
Candles and a table set for 3
Saturday morning, driving down my road, heading to work
I park my car in the university parking lot
my desk at work
my students working on exercises
My students writing their answers on the board
Me checking their exercises
Students present new vocabulary to other students
LOVE
My studenst want me to photograph them making hearts and peace signs
me in front with my students behind
in the “canteen” for lunch
Mona Lisa at the canteen
walking on the campus under covered walkways
driving home to Nizwa after shopping at Lulu
I park my car and take out the groceries
the groceries in my kitchen waiting to be unpacked
Saturday, March 9: This week WordPress decided to do something different with the Weekly Photo Challenge. They are calling it a Phoneography Challenge because we are supposed to take pictures of our neighborhood WITH OUR PHONES. I don’t have a smart phone, but I do have a new iPad, so I figured I would take the pictures with that. The challenge is this:
To kick this off, grab your phone and head out the door. That’s right — get on your feet and go outside to explore — and document — where you live. I want to see your neighborhood: The path you take for your daily morning run. Your local coffee shop or dive bar. The nearby alley of street and community art. A shot of the intersection that perfectly captures the bustle of your own corner of town. Or a serene landscape view of your village.
the view from the roof of my building across the street in Nizwa
the view from the roof of my building to the east
the view out my back door – a big Omani mansion
the milkweed plant next to my kitchen window
My neighbor’s laundry hanging on the line on the rooftop
my Omani neighbors’ wash hung out to dry on the roof
I also went out after taking these photos with my iPad and took a few with my Olympus PEN EPL-1.
Two of my Omani women neighbors taking a walk down the street
the gate to the house catty-corner from me
milkweed
some other weed outside my kitchen window
And finally, this picture I took outside my back door a couple of nights ago as the sun was setting. This one I took with my Olympus camera.
sunset out my back door at the Abu Nooh Building
Ok, which do you like better? The ones taken with my iPad or the ones with my camera? I would prefer to use my camera, as the iPad is very cumbersome and awkward. Since I don’t have an iPhone, I cannot take pictures using my phone! I have to say, I’m not really keen on this new challenge, since WordPress is specifying equipment that leaves some of us out of the field of contenders!! 🙂
Friday, January 11: This morning, we walk the back road to Nizwa Souq from my flat, past farms and modern Omani houses, past several mosques, past “Gents Tailoring” shops and “Foodstuffs and Luxury Items” shops, through the old gate and into the ruined village of Al Aqr. This traditional Omani landscape of two- and three-story mudbrick houses, though in great decay, is home to much of Nizwa’s large Pakistani community.
Adam, Mike and Alex at the gate to the Nizwa ruins
the gate into the Nizwa ruins
On our walk, we pass Omanis pulling goats behind them with ropes, or driving them out of the market in their pickup trucks. We arrive at the south side of the souq, where we head directly to the Goat Market, home to Nizwa’s Friday Market where locals come to trade livestock, particularly goats and cows, sold by auction. However, we find we have come too late for the goat auction. All the buying and selling of goats has already occurred, as evidenced by the Omanis leaving with their goats in tow, and the goats tied up by rope to various poles and fences.
goats at the goat market
the goat herders
Now the cattle market is in full swing. Omanis are pulling their cows and bulls around a circular promenade, yelling out prices and haggling with other Omanis bidding from around the perimeter and the interior of the circle. I hear “Ashroon! Ashroon!” in a conversation between a bidder and seller, which is 20 rials, or about $52, and I can’t believe that can be the price for a whole cow! Maybe I misunderstood, as my Arabic is quite elementary, and rusty as well.
Click on any of the pictures in the gallery below to see a full-sized slide show.
the cattle market in full swing
cows for sale!
the goat herders
cows on parade
inspecting the cows
promenade
a chaotic state of affairs
cattle auction
The market is quite frenetic as the sellers can’t always control their cows, and some try to break away, like bulls running through the streets of Pamplona, dragging their owners behind them. A couple of times I regret wearing my red and blue plaid shirt, remembering that bulls in bullfights like to charge at the color red. I jump back away from the sidelines several times as I see cows running helter-skelter in my direction!
serious contenders
I can’t believe that, in the year and 4 months I’ve been in Nizwa, this is the first time I’ve been to the cattle market. It’s a crazy scene with hollering Omanis and out-of-control cows and even quiet Omanis either just sitting and observing, or playing with their mobile phones, or participating full force in the auction. In addition, there are the requisite number of tourists trying to find good vantage points to take videos and pictures of this event.
the modern & the traditional
I am caught up trying to take pictures, so I lose track of Mike and the boys. The boys at first seemed interested, but later I look up to see them sitting on a bench with Mike, looking quite bored. Or irritated. I’m too caught up in the action to pay them much mind, but when I go to seek them out, I find only Mike, who tells me they decided to leave. He said they were getting increasingly upset with how the animals were treated, and they just couldn’t take it any more. Being vegans on principle, because they love animals and hate their mistreatment, they didn’t want anything more to do with this affair.
corn, peppers & lemons for sale!
Mike and I soon leave the cattle auction, with him explaining how the boys felt and why they left. We wander through the Fruit and Vegetable Souq and then through the pottery & crafts market of the West Souq, where I buy a beautiful turquoise lantern that I can send home with them on their flight tonight. Then we head back down the road to my flat.
produce for sale!
As we are walking, Mike tells me not to say anything to the boys about their leaving. “Just accept that’s who they are,” he advises me. “You’re not going to change them.” I wonder why this advice is necessary as I haven’t said one word about their departure. I take offense, as I always do, at his (or anyone else’s) unasked-for advice. I say, “I don’t think you need to tell me how to interact with my own sons.”
small chickens?
This kind of thing is one of many issues in our marriage; some of our myriad problems have come back full force during our time together here in Oman. Some of these things I have forgotten over the years we’ve been separated, or I’ve glossed over them. But this kind of attitude on his part – that I’m incapable of knowing how to interact with my own children, after I gave up a career to stay home and raise them for 15 years – always stymies (and infuriates!) me. I know Mike has witnessed many heated arguments between the kids and me over our years together, and I know these confrontations make him extremely uncomfortable. He always tries to jump into the fray to resolve our differences, even when they don’t involve him at all. I feel this is insulting, as if he thinks we are incapable of resolving our differences ourselves. I know it has to do with his need to always be in control, and his discomfort around any expression of emotion. I am just the opposite, never afraid of emotions or of expressing them, even if it involves confrontation.
parakeets for sale
nuts & crunchies
I feel sad today, one because I know they are all leaving tonight, but also because I haven’t felt any opening up on Mike’s part to any kind of reconciliation. I feel he is totally closed off. We never discuss our situation during their visit, and he never makes any effort to spend time alone with me. I feel, with great certainty, that he has already closed the door to me, never to open it again. The thing that saddens me the most is that he doesn’t even have the courage to tell me.
How can two people be together in a marriage if they can’t even communicate about anything?
Mike at the pottery souq
I need to step back and evaluate our experience together. I know without question that I always love being with my sons. But with Mike, it’s much more complicated. I’ll take some time to reflect back on these 10 days together in a couple of weeks, after I’ve had time and space to meditate and consider. Is it possible for us to reconcile? I honestly don’t know. At this moment, I’m highly doubtful.
Wednesday, January 2: This morning, Mike, Alex and Adam come to the University of Nizwa to visit my class. My 26 female students introduce themselves to my family, and then the boys introduce themselves to my girls. I had given the girls, who are all the most basic Level 1, a homework assignment to write three questions each for my boys. They still have not learned how to make proper questions, despite much effort on my part to the contrary, and I wanted them to practice on some Westerners. However, they have all unilaterally decided that they are finished with this semester, even though they’re really NOT, so they don’t make any questions at all. It is a much more awkward interaction than the one my boys had last January with my Level 2 students, who were much more capable of having conversations.
Sandy & Malcolm
In the afternoon, we make a major trip to the Lulu Hypermarket, where we load up on fruits and vegetables for my vegan boys, along with some warm roti, their favorite Indian bread. We treat ourselves to date and papaya lassis, and head home to prepare black bean soup for a small gathering I have organized, so my dearest friends can meet my boys.
Malcolm & Sandy
Mario, Anna & Alex
Sandy, Mario, me and Malcolm
Sandy, Mario, Anna & Malcolm
The party ends up being quite a cozy and fun affair, with Kathy, Mario, Anna, Malcolm and Sandy in attendance, as well as our whole family. We talk about the humongous fruits in Mario’s childhood gardens in El Salvador, whales in St. John’s, Newfoundland, old television shows like Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In and The 1948 Show and Monty Python’s “NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!” We eat Mario’s fabulous black bean dip, Adam’s black bean soup & guacamole, Anna’s brie & grapes, my colleague Fouzia’s gift of chocolate cake, and Kathy’s white chocolate cake. Laughs and wine and hugs abound. What a way to welcome in the new year!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013: Thirteen is usually my lucky number, so I’m hoping this will be a good year. Despite my mixed success at achieving my resolutions in 2012, I am always hopeful that if I aim high, I at least will achieve SOMETHING!! I’m sure you all have figured out what a Type A personality I am… sorry! This I cannot escape…
“It was amazing how you could get so far from where you’d planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be.” ― Sarah Dessen, What Happened to Goodbye
Tada!! My resolutions for 2013:
1) Finances: PAY DOWN MY DEBTS substantially (…by 50%). Save $6,000 for trip this summer to Spain, Portugal (& Morocco?). Don’t spend money on anything other than travel unless it’s absolutely essential!
2) Health & Fitness: Exercise 4x/week! Walk, do The Firm aerobics weight training video, or ride the exercise bike at the gym. Bring healthy lunches to work. DRINK WATER!!! Keep track of my eating on myfitnesspal. Lose 13 pounds and KEEP IT OFF!! (Current weight 66 kg/145 lb; goal: 60 kg/132 lb.) When I get back to the USA, ride my bike outdoors at least 2x/week.
I’ve had a membership at this gym for 3 months and have only used it twice!!
3) Writing: FINISH AND PUBLISH MY NOVEL. THIS IS MY NUMBER ONE PRIORITY FOR 2013!! (I finally read it in its entirety in November & December of 2012, and after 10 years of not looking at it, I couldn’t put it down!! I was surprised that I actually wrote it… 🙂 ) Revise it, cutting out 150 pages and fixing all the problems. Within the year, send it to an editor and then to publishers. If no one will publish it, self-publish!! Once this is done, begin my next project.
Blogging: Continue to write my Oman blog until I leave Oman at the end of June. Commit to a 52 week blogging project: one contemplative photo with accompanying journal entry per week. On this one day a week, I should do some spiritual type of walk, pilgrimage or meditation, journal about it and post an accompanying photo. I’ll aim to do it on Fridays while in Oman and on Sundays once I return to the U.S.
Finish my Cairo blog (what I can remember from 5 1/2 years ago!). Edit my Korea blog to show more and larger photos. I have some beautiful photos from Korea, but the blog doesn’t showcase them well.
“The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” ― Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go
4) Photography: Learn to use the manual settings on my camera and experiment with photos. Get a photo editing program and play around with photos. Take a photography class when I return to the USA in the fall.
5) Language and Knowledge Goals: Try to read a bit of the Quran each night to gain an understanding of Islamic culture. Study Arabic: Complete Level One of the Rosetta Stone Arabic. Review Chapters 1-12 in Al-Kitab. Study 1/2 hour 5 nights/week. I’m serious. Really. (I didn’t do this all last year, and really, I’m not that motivated to do it this year, especially since I will be leaving the Arab world at the end of June. However, I’ll still keep it on the back burner as a goal I’d like to achieve.)
6) Travel goals: IF we get a semester break in January, go to either Sri Lanka, Kathmandu, Zanzibar, Morocco or Prague. Go to Spain, Portugal & Morocco (a kind of Moorish adventure) this summer for 5 weeks.
In Oman: I only have 6 more months in Oman, so my goal is to see everything of significance that I haven’t seen. On the list are: Ar Rustaq, Ashkara Beach, Little Snake Canyon, the Oryx Sanctuary, Persian steps of Izki, the Damaniyat Islands (snorkeling), Sumail, Wadi Ghul and Al Khitaym, Safari Desert Camp in Wahiba Sands, Sinkhole Park (in Hawiyat Najm Park), Wadi Abreieen, Wadi Dayqah Dam, and Barr al Hickman beaches. Visit the Chedi for a day at the pool. I’d also like to see the Arabian horses in Adam.
In the region: Visit my new friends in Abu Dhabi. Take a weekend trip to Al Ayn in UAE. If we have a long weekend, visit the Islamic museum in Doha, Qatar.
Back in the USA: Take weekend trips around Virginia, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Maryland and Tennessee. Try to save for a trip to California to visit my sister and Jayne over the Christmas break.
One thing I really want to do on my travels is to linger and be more observant. I want my trips to be a kind of spiritual pilgrimage, where I am totally present to each moment. I want to be aware, keep a journal rich in details and take time with photos, learning about and experimenting with the manual settings on my camera.
THIS IS THE FUN STUFF THAT I CAN EASILY “ACCOMPLISH.”
7) Family goals: Have my husband Mike and my two sons, Alex (21) and Adam (20), come to visit me in Oman for 11 days. (They arrive January 1!) Try to talk online more regularly with the boys and Sarah in the next 6 months. When I return home, spend quality time with each of my family members individually and together as a family.
When I return home to the USA, spend time with my daughter Sarah (28) in Richmond. If Mike is open to it, work on our marriage. Reconnect with my father, my sisters and my brother.
8) Social: Cultivate new friendships with great discernment. Cultivate at least one new friendship in Oman and one in Virginia. Make more of an effort to talk to my close friends regularly. Invite someone somewhere once a month, either to come by for dinner or a movie, or to go on an outing. Reconnect with my old friends in northern Virginia and Washington. Plan a get together with my old high school friends. Attend the fall York High School gathering.
Finally, DON’T attend a single social gathering unless my heart is really into it. Forget about making an appearance unless I REALLY WANT to do so. And, don’t let any person disturb my peace of mind with his/her criticisms, unsolicited advice or intimidating tactics! I have fought hard for my independence and self-esteem over the last 5 years. Guard them relentlessly.
9) Cultural: Visit the museums in Oman that I haven’t seen. Go to 1 show during the spring at the Royal Opera House. Get involved in more InterNations activities. Keep an eye out for other cultural activities.
the Royal Opera House Muscat
When I return to Washington, attend Jazz in the Sculpture Garden on Friday evenings. Visit the museums and art galleries in Washington. See good movies in American cinemas!! Find new places to listen to live music. Explore the rich variety of ethnic restaurants in Washington and northern Virginia:-) CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS!!
me at Jazz in the Sculpture Garden a couple of years ago… 🙂
10) Home sweet home: Move back home to Virginia, after my Moorish adventure, by early August. Reacquaint myself. Settle in. Learn to see my old home with fresh eyes.
11) Work: Finish up my job with University of Nizwa by June 26. Begin working at my new job in the fall semester. Apply to teach at least one class in international relations (using my hard-earned Master’s degree in International Commerce & Policy) as an adjunct, in addition to ESL classes. Apply, once again, for a job at USAID or another AID organization.
12) Eliminate at least one bad habit: SPENDING MONEY on unnecessary things. Yep. I keep trying this one. I have high hopes on this for the coming year. 🙂
13) Spirituality: Begin a meditation practice, starting with at least 10 minutes a day. Read books about Buddhism, pilgrimage, spirituality, along with my other reading. Read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Start reading books about the Camino de Santiago and prepare to do some kind of pilgrimage in 2014. Attend some services at Washington National Cathedral.
14) LOVE: Open up my heart. Invite LOVE to find me…♥♥♥♥♥♥ (Still remaining hopeful on this.)
NOTE TO SELF: You have the day ahead at your disposal. Don’t think in terms too great. Think about only what you can accomplish in a day.
Here are some books on my reading list for this year:
Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long Term World Travel Nixon under the Bodhi Tree and other works of Buddhist Fiction Bohemian Manifesto: a Field Guide to Living on the Edge Cutting for Stone ~ Abraham Varghese Video Night in Kathmandu ~ Pico Iyer Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love & Intimacy The Language of Flowers Driving over Lemons: An Optimist in Andalucia The Memory of Running Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail ~ Cheryl Strayed Midnight’s Children ~ Salman Rushdie The Road to Santiago ~ Kathryn Harrison The Pilgrimage ~ Paul Coelho
Any good books I can find about spiritual awakening, being present to the moment, meditation or pilgrimage. I’m sure I will add many more to this list in the year ahead.
Tell us about the three things you’d most like to change about your life, and make a bold, I-don’t-care-who-knows-it-because-there’s-a-meteor-a-comin’ assertion to the world that you are going to get these changes made. And that you’ll have at least started making them happen by March. When, erm, you’re probably going to wind up as dust.
Since I already wrote all the resolutions above, I will add that, of my 13 resolutions, the THREE things I’d MOST like to change by March, are: 1) Finances; 2) Health & fitness; and 3) Spirituality. I also need to make substantial progress on my novel, revising at least 12 of my 50 chapters. See above for more details. 🙂